Free Your Mind
May is mental health awareness month and I thought 🙇🏾💭 it would be fitting as we are all experiencing a pandemic together among other stressors that we dive into changing the stigma of mental illness into wholeness, how to access therapy and other resources.
The definition of stigma is a mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person. Mental health is highly stigmatized.
Now how did mental illness or mental health become a mark of disgrace? Was it the community? Was it the church? Was it the convincing of yourself that you are not crazy, nothing is wrong with you, just tough it out or abuse and trauma is normal this is just how it is? As people keep up appearances they don’t want the “stigma” of being seen or called crazy. Or some people do like to be called crazy, as they see it as a thrill they may say, “you know I am crazy right”. We often want these picture perfect keeping up with the Jones’s, Cosby Show, Living Single, The Real Housewives of (Insert your City) lives BUT does your mental health match your physical health?
Mental stress, financial stress, work stress, relationship stress, grief and loss and my oh so favorite flavor of the month word Toxic, we have trauma, our ancestors experienced trauma, our mothers, our fathers, our grandparents, I mean the trauma of enslavement how taxing on your mental health, we have barriers through injustices, systematic oppression, racism and inequities, we have to take action in coping mentally, we can’t just complain about it, become enraged and harbor that trauma and anger inside all our lives or lash out at others it is harmful and the only way to figure this out is to get help and support. We are resilient as black people and changing the stigma of the disgrace into awareness and wholeness is getting support and seeking help for an overall balance of wellness.
How many times in your black household have you heard, “What happens in this house stays in this house”. Their it is there is the STIGMA the “disgrace”. If your depression, molestation, or anxiety can’t leave the house, how are you supposed to open up and talk to a therapist or psychiatrist. Well that generational curse of thinking has got to be broken, of course some family matters are private but some things needs to be addressed. I think the new generational quote should be, “Whatever dysfunction happens in this house goes and gets therapy”.
Are you depressed? Do you have anxiety? Are you grieving? Have you not dealt with your childhood trauma? Do you have thoughts of harming yourself or someone else? Do you have PTSD or hear voices that only you can hear or see things that only you can see? Have you ever sought out help for your mental health? How do you seek help for your mental health? Like where do you even start? Well let me say this if you got shot would you go to the hospital or would you just stay home and bleed to death? The same analogy applies to your mental health experiencing PTSD and trauma damages your mental health, and you have to seek help for it or become damaged and crippled on the inside. If you ever seen someone physically crippled on the outside like they are walking with a limp or they are confined to a wheelchair, that is exactly one may be experiencing on the inside, they are mentally crippled and their mind is confined.
How do you seek therapy or psychiatric services?
The first thing in accessing services for mental health is to determine if you need a psychiatrist or a therapist. A psychiatrist is a medical doctor that prescribes medications they evaluate you and assess to determine the proper medication for you to take. A therapist does not prescribe medications, they are not even licensed to do so, their role is to help you process through your feelings, like why you get upset when, or why do you become sad when, or why do your romantic relationships fail, a therapist helps you overcome hurdles like grief, communication or addiction, they provide you with the tools and coping skills to get through your anxiety, depression or whatever you are dealing with at the moment.
I saw this statement on twitter by Natasha Sonia Alford of The Grio and she stated “finding a black therapist *within your insurance provider network…Let’s discuss, and it continues on, “the hoops + red tape you have to go through to find the right therapist can make you want to give up altogether. Especially if you’re already in a vulnerable state.
Natasha’s statement rang so true, especially if you have never sought out mental health services or let’s rename it to whole health wellness. When I began my journey of seeking a therapist I went straight to my insurance provider and I had a few referrals by word of mouth. I knew the therapist I wanted to try, but I needed to see if they took my insurance. I called the office to see if they took my insurance and yep they did, but that didn’t even matter because in order for my insurance to cover it I had to meet my deductible (insert eye roll 🙄) so I couldn’t utilize my insurance because I had to meet my insurance deductible. The next option was paying out of pocket I have a health savings account which deducts money from my pay check bi-weekly to cover medical expenses such as therapy and even though I had insurance, my insurance did not cover the expense of attending therapy, but my health savings account would.
(Aht Aht don’t let barriers interfere with your path to wholeness)
Continuing on with my journey I called the therapist office and gave my information and I told the office assistant I want a black female therapist, and she identified a black female therapist for me. It is your absolute right to ask for a specific gender or race of a therapist. So don’t feel discouraged if you call an office and they don’t have black therapists male or female that just means your search continues. After my therapist was identified, the office assistant sent me an assessment to fill out, the assessment is very detailed, they dig deep with questions. The assessment will ask a lot of questions, and finally they ask you why are you attending therapy? I could give a dissertation, like I am a black woman in Amerikkka…lol so after you finish filling out your assessment, you are then scheduled for your initial appointment. The fee for my therapy session is currently $55.00 per session and I attend bi-weekly, but you can set your own schedule you can go weekly, biweekly or 1x per month, whatever you think you need and whatever your budget will allow. The process of access can be tedious, but once you get past the red tape or at least your foot in the door as Natasha so eloquently stated especially when you are grieving or depressed think of the wholeness you are accessing and entering the journey of wellness.
Accessing the service is the first step, the next step is determining how you will pay for it, if your insurance does not cover it don’t let money be the reason you suffer in silence or wallow in grief. Not insured or under insured but want a specific type of therapist male or female or vice versa or black therapist instead of a white one or a gay therapist my first suggestion is word of mouth ask friends or colleagues like hey I’m looking for or if you feel uncomfortable self-identifying that you need therapy just say, “hey I have a friend looking for a black female therapist you know anyone”. (Word of mouth) is still the best resource.
Here are some resources I recommend, as you explore your whole health wellness, which will assist to identify the type of therapist you will need.
Therapy for Black Girls is an awesome resource specifically for black women.
Therapy for Black Men is a great resource specifically for black men.
Psychologytoday.com is a great resource to find a therapist in your zip code.
Another way to access whole health wellness is through your employer. Most companies offer Employee Assistance Programs or better known as (EAP) under EAP your employer should be able to provide a mental health therapist typically its limited to 6 sessions for example, if one of your co-workers die EAP is offered or now as we experiencing a pandemic with COVID-19 EAP could be utilized FREE of charge. Please know that EAP is confidential so your boss or co-workers will not know just your HR dept because you are accessing it through your employer. If you do not want to use your employer there are more alternatives to access like with the new wave of technology there are online therapists you can connect with virtually.
Here are some online therapy providers that I recommend as you seek your preference to utilizing therapy for whole health wellness.
Betterhelp.com 👩🏾💻
The online therapy alternatives above can be more affordable, because some online therapists do not have the overhead expenses of office space, you can do on-line therapy from the comfort of your home or wherever you have WI-FI just by logging on. Ok the therapists price range is still out of reach, you can ask for a sliding scale fee, a sliding scale fee, is maybe you are on a fixed income, like you can pay $40.00 per session, but not $55.00 or $60.00 per session. Before you sign up inquire about the process of a sliding scale fee.
Not quite ready to dive into therapy or be prescribed medication by a psychiatrist, or face public embarrassment if someone just happens to see you coming out of a therapist or psychiatrist office, but if you are brave enough to break the stigma or the “disgrace” of mental health, you should have pride that you are taking care of yourself and becoming whole. There are plenty of free apps, that you could utilize in the mean time if you are not ready to do therapy or see a psychiatrist or can’t afford one at this time.
Here are some health and wellness apps you could utilize:
Liberate it’s a meditation app specifically for the Black, Indigenous and People of Color Community.
Headspace it’s a guided meditation app.
Insight Timer a comprehensive meditation app to reduce anxiety and improve sleep.
Let me know how you do on your path to wholeness. I’ll dive a little deeper into the other side of mental health that we as a community rarely discuss which is suicide in my next blog for mental health awareness month.
XOXO
#BGUC